How Mere Headache Played a Big Role in My Life

Headache – I never thought that this mere pain could play a significant role in my relationship with my dad.

My life has been full of headaches, literally and figuratively speaking. Literally speaking, there was a time in my life when I got used to having headaches everyday. I guess it was due to all the stress I encountered in school. I was in high school, I was a scholar, and I struggled to meet all the expectations of people around me. Time passed and the occurrence of my headaches gradually decreased. I still have occasional attacks, though. Figuratively speaking, there was a bunch of nagging questions in my head that remained unanswered for a long period of time.  Such questions were indeed a headache to me. For instance, I questioned the absence of my dad during my formative years. My mom and I had no idea where he was. He left when I was 3. Thankfully, some of my questions were answered when my dad came back. I was 15 then.

Meanwhile, I got used to different body aches since I was little, and I really loved being massaged to ease such pains. I was fortunate enough that my dad knew a lot of massage techniques. Hence when he came back, my mom and I instantly had an “in-house massage therapist”! Having a chronic headache, I indeed gained a lot of benefits from my dad’s massaging skills. Massage was our bonding, and it is one of the many things I miss about my dad.

In 2012, he was diagnosed with skin cancer. But my dad was a perfect image of a strong man. During the early stages of his illness, he still tried to act normally. He still tried to look after me and my mom. He was still determined to make up for all his wrongdoings in the past. Months have passed and his condition worsened. He fought hard; he didn’t want to lose himself. He still tried to be cheerful. He still managed to greet each day with a smile.

My last memory of my dad was when he was having a bad headache due to his illness. I hardly understood what he was saying, for he was having a really hard time talking. But hey, he still managed to crack a joke. He was even trying to make fun of me. That was the last day I saw my dad alive.

As they say, life is short, seize the day. Who could have thought that unpleasant feelings like headaches can create beautiful memories in life? Who could have thought that my chronic headache could be a way to establish my relationship with my dad?  There is no such thing as a petty stuff whenever you are with your loved ones. Whatever moment you are having with them, embrace it. Seize the day!

Headache – I never thought that this mere pain would create my last moment with my dad.

At present, my life is still full of headaches, literally and figuratively speaking. Figuratively speaking, more questions have come to nag me. But, I can manage. I know that eventually, those questions will be answered. Literally speaking, I still have episodes of bad headaches, especially when I cry about my dad (and grandmother who passed away two days after my dad did). Yes, my head hurts whenever I cry; but my heart aches more because I know that my dad isn’t here anymore to give me a relieving massage.

Jim Gilbertson has suffered headaches and migraine for years. He has started doing research on the disease and started to write articles on his resource page. Click here.