Headache – I never thought that
this mere pain could play a significant role in my relationship with my dad.
My life has been full of
headaches, literally and figuratively speaking. Literally speaking, there was a
time in my life when I got used to having headaches everyday. I guess it was
due to all the stress I encountered in school. I was in high school, I was a
scholar, and I struggled to meet all the expectations of people around me. Time
passed and the occurrence of my headaches gradually decreased. I still have
occasional attacks, though. Figuratively speaking, there was a bunch of nagging
questions in my head that remained unanswered for a long period of time. Such questions were indeed a headache to me.
For instance, I questioned the absence of my dad during my formative years. My
mom and I had no idea where he was. He left when I was 3. Thankfully, some of
my questions were answered when my dad came back. I was 15 then.
Meanwhile, I got used to
different body aches since I was little, and I really loved being massaged to
ease such pains. I was fortunate enough that my dad knew a lot of massage
techniques. Hence when he came back, my mom and I instantly had an “in-house
massage therapist”! Having a chronic headache, I indeed gained a lot of
benefits from my dad’s massaging skills. Massage was our bonding, and it is one
of the many things I miss about my dad.
In 2012, he was diagnosed with skin
cancer. But my dad was a perfect image of a strong man. During the early stages
of his illness, he still tried to act normally. He still tried to look after me
and my mom. He was still determined to make up for all his wrongdoings in the
past. Months have passed and his condition worsened. He fought hard; he didn’t
want to lose himself. He still tried to be cheerful. He still managed to greet
each day with a smile.
My last memory of my dad was when
he was having a bad headache due to his illness. I hardly understood what he
was saying, for he was having a really hard time talking. But hey, he still
managed to crack a joke. He was even trying to make fun of me. That was the last
day I saw my dad alive.
As they say, life is short, seize
the day. Who could have thought that unpleasant feelings like headaches can
create beautiful memories in life? Who could have thought that my chronic
headache could be a way to establish my relationship with my dad? There is no such thing as a petty stuff
whenever you are with your loved ones. Whatever moment you are having with
them, embrace it. Seize the day!
Headache – I never thought that
this mere pain would create my last moment with my dad.
At present, my life is still full
of headaches, literally and figuratively speaking. Figuratively speaking, more
questions have come to nag me. But, I can manage. I know that eventually, those
questions will be answered. Literally speaking, I still have episodes of bad
headaches, especially when I cry about my dad (and grandmother who passed away two
days after my dad did). Yes, my head hurts whenever I cry; but my heart aches
more because I know that my dad isn’t here anymore to give me a relieving
massage.
Jim Gilbertson has suffered
headaches and migraine for years. He has started doing research on the disease
and started to write articles on his resource page. Click here.
